Look to the Lord

I'm really tired. My body wants to lay around for a day, or two. Swimming lessons started last week and they are great. We stay for the family swim afterwards which means I swim because Olivia is too young to be in the pool without an adult. I want to be in there with her; she is doing so well and having a great time. But, it is exhauting being in the pool for almost an hour. It is almost a mile from our home and we walk. It would be fine, even added to all the other lessons and biking, but this weekend was more busy than the week. I think I will include all the busyness on the Our Trail blog in a day or two so I'm not going to give you details. I just want to ramble about being so tired. We went to bed at a decent time last night so I got up this morning at my usual 4:30 and had my tea, read Psalm 105 and wrote in my journal. This is my preferred routine and I enjoy the quiet time to sit and pray and think (my favorite activity). Psalm 105 was a great place to read this morning in my weakened state. My verse today was 'Look to the Lord and his stregnth; seek his face always.' That will be the theme of my week.

I needed to wake the children at 6:00, but when I went in and turned on the closet light, none of them noticed and they went on sleeping. I didn't have the heart to wake them and Greg doesn't leave until after 8:00 today. So here I am rambling in a quiet home when I should be correcting math papers with the boys. It is a great advantage to homeschooling to be able to change our schedule at will. We have lightened our schedules for these four weeks of swimming lessons and a little extra sleep will help them fight off the colds coming into season.

I decided last week that I wanted to begin fasting again. I went through a time when I was fasting one day a week, but it was before Olivia and I felt I couldn't fast while preganant or nursing and then I've just never gotten back to it. This week I will, today. It will only be an approximate 24 hour fast, from dinner to dinner. It gives me ample time to suffer and pray and keeps the fasting more private. I don't need to talk about it with Greg or anyone; the children may notice, but it is a good example for them. It is a challenge to not say anything and keep it between me and God. Of course, I'm telling anyone reading this, but I'm sure there are not that many of you and I will consider it an example to you, as well. You will not have to see me irritable and complaining which avoiding those things is always the greatest challenge for me at any time, more so when I'm uncomfortable. I have many things to pray for and I desire that fasting will increase my focus on the One to whom I must look to for my strength and my needs and my wants.

I'm getting sleepy so it is time to get up and start working.

Proverbs 16:9

I was looking at the verse in my profile: "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." I noticed an example of this in my life recently. Several weeks ago we signed the children up for various classes within the Tualatin Valley Recreation District. We wanted them all to have swimming lessons. The Beaverton Swim Center is less than a mile from our home and they allow homeschoolers in their daytime preschool classes. Their normal classes for older children are in the evenings (after school is out). We were all a little nervous on the way to the first class Tuesday. It was great. They put all four boys together with one teacher. Olivia was with three other preschoolers. Immediately after our class (10:10 - 10:40) is a Family Swim (10:45 - 11:45). The class is Tuesdays and Thursdays and so is the Family Swim. I planned our classes knowing nothing about the swim center's schedule, but God knew and he directed me to that class at that time knowing how much the children and I would enjoy the time in the pool. You may agree or disagree with my assessment of this situation and its application to this verse; I know that the experience is true and that God has often shown his lovingkindness to us, to me, in these ways of seemingly insignificant importance. These little things bring great joy and they are blessings to us for which I am grateful to Him.

Great Events, Difficult Feelings, No Pictures

This has been one of the most difficult weeks for me that I have experienced in a long time, but I'm not going to get into that. There were a couple of especially good things I will tell you about. My dad, Ray, and step-mother, Eunice, invited me over for dinner to celebrate my birthday last Sunday. My birthday was not last Sunday, that was the available date for dinner. It was an honor for me. Eunice's son (Tim and wife Heather) and daughter (Dorothy, husband Ryan, son Cash) were also there, just for my birthday. I've been to their home when all of the same people were there, but never to celebrate me. I enjoyed it tremendously. Dorothy and Heather are both teachers and I enjoy hearing about their experiences. Cash is nearing 18 months and always a joy; the other children especially enjoy interacting with him. He is calling everyone Daddy (I guess a while back everyone was Mommy) and Dorothy said it was a little embarrassing when at the toy store every man was greeted with a loud "Daddy!" I hope they don't mind my sharing that story. After a delicious dinner Eunice brought out a huge chocolate cake with candles and they all sang "Happy Birthday" to me. I can't remember the last time I had a birthday party with a crowd singing to me and I blew out candles. It was quite a treat.

Then, just a couple of nights later I went to the Pregnancy Resource Center where I lead a Parenting Class. I was visiting with the director and a couple of others that work/help on Tuesday nights when they said, "Shall we go in the back?" I figured they were having some little meeting and headed up to put my stuff away and get ready for class. They stopped me right away and called me in where they had a chocolate cake, candles and began singing Happy Birthday! I turned 40 this year. I don't think too much about age, but it was a big year, a new decade. It was nice to celebrate with so many.

Thursday was Greg's 40th birthday. He had to go into work at 3:00 AM, but he came home just after noon so we went out to lunch. We ran a couple of errands and then came home for a relaxing afternoon. Friday our nephew, Keith, came over to hang out with us. We were just finishing cleaning up the house when he got here and we began getting ready to go to the library. Greg had gone into work at 3:00 AM again (third morning in a row) and got home just a little while before we were ready to leave. I thought he would prefer a nap to a walk, but he wanted to enjoy the time with Keith also and we all went to the library together. We bought some pizza that afternoon, ate chocolate chip cookies and played some darts. We were sorry when Keith needed to leave to go back to my dad's where he was staying before heading up to Fort Lewis today. We are so glad he has transferred there from Kansas as we hope we will get to see him occasionally. We are hopeful that Evan, Keith's brother, will also be stationed at Fort Lewis when he arrives home from Iraq.

It is interesting that I had a difficult week with so many great things happening, but it was. I could hardly force myself to do anything (I didn't do much) and the depression and hopelessness was all encompassing. I allowed myself a lot more sleep, I prayed, and I hoped that some time would pull me back together. I guess it worked. I can tell that I'm feeling better and I'm looking forward to more rational feelings.

I am sorry I have no pictures of any of these great events. I will try to not let that happen again.

The Park By Our Home

When the weather is agreeable we stop by the park on our way home from the library. We miss having a yard something fierce. It is wonderful to see the children running full speed across a large open area. There is a little trail through the trees at one side with open spaces for fort/wilderness games. If you click on the picture to the right you will see Henry walking toward the trees and trails. They have taken frisbees and sticks and balls. They also play on the play structures, imagine that. The three older boys are taking classes at different recreation center (wrote a little on the Our Trail blog) so they ride about 7-8 miles on those days. The walk to the library is a couple miles round trip and swimming lessons begin in a week and a half. Occationally they will go on a long ride with Greg, but still it isn't much outside time for these growing children. I know that God is faithful and will provide for all our needs and I will continue to trust him in this area. We are hoping to move soon into a place that will have a garage and a yard. I don't think it will be easy to find a place in the budget we want/have, but I want to try. We have another month or two before we can do much besides think about it and I pray that God will direct our path to the right home for this family. Anyway, here are some pictures of the children at the park, and Louis and Otto fighting with their sticks, I mean swords.