Every time I start to add to this blog I read my last post and stop. I am not doing better in any of the areas I mentioned. In fact, I think I'm doing worse. I have always struggled with my goals being higher than I can reach, which in itself is not bad, but when I fall short I am discouraged and feel like a failure. Now, I know that I am not a failure, but that knowledge does not change the feeling of disappointment in myself. The question is: how do I change? What do I change? Do I lower my goals? No. How do I convince myself that it is acceptable to just continue on as I am without improvement? Even a little back sliding? Is that acceptable? I wish I could find the source of my struggle and deal with it, but instead I analyze and search and feel confused and lost and then just keep going. One time I asked someone how they were doing and they said they were coping. Maybe that is what I'm doing.