Difficult Christmas

It has been a long time since I have had the time or opportunity to ramble on this page. At this moment I have both and certainly feel like rambling. This has been the most difficult Christmas season ever for me. I'm not sure I want to or should write about it.

There is really no way to make things right this year. After having Thanksgiving with my family we planned on Christmas with Greg's. Not long ago we found out that my family was having a rare Christmas with both my brothers and most of their families coming for a big dough party on Christmas day. This includes my nephews, one of whom has been in Iraq for the last 15 months, the other preparing to go. It is hard to explain what a dough party is to those not from the Straub clan, suffice to say it is a lot of really good food prepared all day with a lot of fun and laughter followed by lingering fellowship around the table we are too stuffed to walk away from. At least those are my memories of something I have actually never experienced as an adult. I would be lying if I didn't say that everything within me wants to be a part of my family that day. However, Greg could not take part. His asthma will not let him be in Dad and Eunice's house without extremely difficult consequences (they have cats which agrevate his condition). After the few hours he spent there on Thanksgiving he struggled breathing for a week, day and night.

So, the options are: I sacrifice being at the dough party and celebrate as planned with Greg's family or we separate and do not celebrate Christmas together. Greg would be miserable and I would be miserable knowing his misery. We talked about doing some at both houses, but the day becomes hectic and we don't like that either; rather than enjoying some of both, it takes away the enjoyment of either.

I decided last night to go with Greg to his Dad's. Everything in me rebels at the thought, at the pain of missing my family, but my first responsibility is to my husband. And I love him more. I will go with the kids to my dad's on Christmas Eve morning when Greg goes to work. When I call my dad to tell him this morning I will hope that we will get to see some of the family for a little while at least. They are not up here long and have lots of plans, I'm sure.

I am thankful that I enjoy my family. There are so many who would not want to be with any of their family on Christmas. How blessed we are to be wanted. How sad I am that these choices have to be made.